Self-care’ is a phrase you’ve probably come across, but what does it really mean?
What is self-care?
Self-care is about taking time for yourself to help you feel grounded, especially when life feels too much. It gives you a chance to step back and put yourself first, and knowing how to do this is really important for looking after your mental health.
You might think self-care is all about having a relaxing bath, lighting some candles or putting on a face mask. And for some people it is. But in reality, self-care looks different for everyone. What works for one person might not work for someone else.
In its simplest form, self-care is just the little things we do to look after our own mental health. It’s about trying to listen to how we’re feeling and understanding what we need so we can care for ourselves.
This could mean taking a timeout when you're feeling overwhelmed; it could mean making time to do an activity that you know makes you feel good; or it could be as simple as making sure to do the
basics like eating and sleeping well when you're struggling. The important thing with self-care is not what it looks like, but what it does for you and how it makes you feel. When it comes to
self-care it’s not one thing, it’s your thing, it’s individual and unique.
How can self-care help me?
Self-care can be a real game-changer for your mental health and wellbeing. Even if you feel like you don’t have time for it or think it won’t work, it’s important to do the little things that help. Here are some ways that self-care can help:
Restore balance - Taking breaks and connecting with yourself can help bring balance back into your life and make you feel more like you again.
Boost your mental health - Making self-care a part of your life can help put you in a good headspace, making tough times easier to handle.
Lower the pressure - Prioritising you and your needs, even when things are hectic, can stop you from burning out and get more control in your life.
Finding what self-care works for you
There’s no one way to do self-care. You can keep it simple or go all out with it – it’s really about finding what works for you. It’s okay to try different things until you find what you like. To help you figure this out, think about these questions:
What feels within my power to try? Start by trying things that feel easy to fit into your life.
Where am I drawing my strength from? Think about what makes you feel good and strong. Talking to people you love, doing something creative or connecting with nature might work for you.
What are things that help ground me? Find activities that help you feel centred and present. Mindfulness, journaling and drawing can help you to tune in with yourself.
If my best friend was feeling like this, what would I say to them? Take the same care and understanding that you’d give to someone else who’s finding life tough at the moment.
What is my body telling me it needs? Tune into what you need. If you’re feeling on edge, take time to reset your mind. If you’re feeling on edge, you could try dancing to your favourite song or doing exercise.
Starting self-care can feel weird. Sometimes it can feel like self-care is selfish, especially if you have big responsibilities like caring for a friend or family member. But there’s nothing selfish about looking after yourself – in fact, doing so will make you better able to do the other things you need to do. Remember, you are worthy of self-care and helping yourself feel good can help you to support the people around you too.
Things you can try for self-care
Judging by what we see in adverts or on social media, we might think self-care is all about candles, yoga and luxury bath bombs. And for some people, it is. But for others, these things can be uninteresting, expensive or time-consuming. Don’t worry if you feel like these things aren’t for you – there are always other ways to look after yourself.
Here are some activities that are often suggested for self-care:
- Take a digital detox
- Write a journal
- Pamper yourself
- Talk a walk
- Listen to music
- Practice meditation and deep breathing exercises
- Explore creative outlets
- Exercise
- Eat healthily
- Get good sleep
- Connect with others
When self-care feels too hard or impossible
Sometimes when we’re struggling with our mental health, self-care can feel really difficult or even impossible. Things that used to make you feel good might not make you feel so good anymore. It’s okay to feel that way and it won’t last forever.
In the meantime, try to adjust your expectations of self-care. This means giving yourself time and space without pressuring yourself to do things you don’t feel up to. Instead, focus on the basics: eating, drinking water, resting and looking after your hygiene. These might feel like small things, but they’re all part of self-care, and you should feel proud of yourself for taking the small steps too.
For those of us with a mental health condition or disability, lots of the typical self-care advice might feel particularly challenging, or might not be possible at all. This can be really frustrating and make you feel disconnected from the people around you. But remember, self-care looks different for everyone – if it makes you happy do more of that!