Helping at Home: Tips for Parents
Addressing the underlying needs is crucial for successful parenting.
Understanding the meaning behind the behaviour and shifting focus from simply trying to stop or fix their actions can lead to better strategies for addressing underlying issues and supporting their growth and development.
Establishing and maintaining routines is vital.
Predictability reassures your child and gives them the confidence to act independently. Routines also provide safety and stability, particularly for children and teenagers struggling to manage their emotions and behaviour.
Introducing boundaries and clarifying family values is essential for a thriving family.
Clearly outlining expectations, limits, and values can support positive behaviour and help children understand and respect their needs and those of others. Modelling these values yourself can make a lasting impression on children.
It’s important to avoid power struggles.
Choose your battles wisely and offer choices where possible to support your child in making better choices. When conflicts arise, resist the urge to raise your voice. Instead, validate your child's emotions and calmly explain why certain behaviours are unacceptable. Being firm yet composed will help maintain authority while fostering understanding.
Develop emotional literacy.
Children often express what they can't put into words, contributing to reactivity and leaving us to decode the message. This emphasises the importance of supporting your child's ability to recognize, understand, and express their emotions more effectively.
Create calm.
Your child relies on you to help them regain a sense of calm and stability. Suppose you are in a situation where you might react rather than respond to your child; permit yourself to pause. Take a breath and go to a separate space until you feel in control. Soften your voice and use short, clear directions: "Take a deep breath," "Take 2 minutes to calm down," "Do you want to talk about it or do you need a hug?"
Positive reinforcement is an effective behaviour strategy that focuses on changing specific behaviours with positive consequences rather than negative ones.
This means something is given to a child rather than being taken away. The aim is to empower your child to make positive choices so that your child leans towards doing the right thing. If your child cannot make a positive choice, allow your child to rectify the mistake.
Focus on one goal at a time.
You may feel like you need to keep everything together. It's impossible not to let something slide. So give yourself permission to do a "good enough" job as a parent and focus on what's most important.
Recharge your batteries.
Find small opportunities to sustain yourself each day and seek help from others. You'll set an excellent example for your child on successfully practising effective regulation and self-care.